A realization

So here's what I've realized:
A) I do what I want
B) I'm a better person
C) I've been an ass about girls

The third part is why I'm writing this. I've realized that lately all I want to do is to try to "get some" by whatever chick I can get. I've lied to so many girls recently and now I just feel guilty. I've lied for the above reason and because I really don't want them to be crushed by rejection, because I know what it's like to be rejected. I know the girls that I've been talking to will never see this, but I just hate how I've been such an ass hole guy, and yet this is what I wanted to be a couple months ago just so I could get a girlfriend.

I've realized a lot about the workings of girls through this phase in my life. I realized that girls don't really check out guys. I found out who are psycho before meeting them. Who are going to be pretty decent. I've found out alot, yet I can't get a girlfriend, why? Because I haven't been putting myself out there. I've realized that to find someone, you go to parties, events, activities, not the mall, bowling alley. The latter places are horrible to find people because the environment isn't the "lets date" energy, it's more, let's hang with friends/bowl/watch a movie/shop.

Today, I tell all the girls what I really think, even if I loose a possible friendship along the way.

-Phil