"Hey, I put some new shoes on and suddenly everything's right"

-Paolo Nutini "New Shoes"

Lately I've been feeling really different, I feel like a new person. I'm doing more for me, I'm not sad anymore, I'm working out for once and getting some sort of results. It's funny now that I'm writing this all down I totally forget what I was going to say on the subject.

But one thing that has hugely helped is the book/movie "The Secret" which I now live off of on a day to day basis. In short the "secret" is the law of attraction which states that if you have a thought, you attract like physical manifestations of that thought. For example, if you have a really good day, your significant other might pick you up out of the blue. It's something that helped me get over Brittany, do better in school, being a better person. For once I can look into a mirror and say that I'm proud of myself. This law of attraction always works even when you don't think about it. Watch the movie or pick up the book, there's so much to say about that I can't even put to words.

Well, I'm pretty tired so I'm gonna go, but I'm going to start writing out blog posts on paper and writing something really good next time.

-Philippe 'Frágil'

College is finally done!

So the college semester is finally over and all the stress I had over it is finally gone. For once, the stress was just so much, I really just lost it. I did some pretty crappy things to my friends and I really feel bad about it. So, I feel that I am nearing the end of me getting over Brittany. I have basically deleted her from my life and considering I'll never see her again, it's pretty exciting, but I am feeling the aftermath of the breakup on me. I don't see girls the same way anymore, girls that I would think are hot are just alright now, or some girls that I would think would be good girlfriends I think are going to be bitches to me. It's annoying, and I'll stop blogging about it now.

So I've been writing some things down on what I want to do this summer. Here's what I have so far:

• learn Spanish
• refine my French
• work out
• train capoeira more
• start doing free running/parkour and breakdancing
• learn Brazilian Portuguese

I know it's alot, but they all have a purpose, and some work hand in hand which is really nice. I also want to find a second job. My work is cutting hours, laying people off, and so far, we're going to keep closing at 6. Since I work so little hours, I'm going to work as close as I can to full time, then get another job.

One thing I might try to do is go to France over the summer, I've been dying to go and I've never really had the money to go, so hopefully with the money I'll be able to go.

Well who knows, well I have to go for now, but you can all be rest assured that I am doing 100 times better.

Sorry about not updating

College is about to end, so I'm going to let that end, then write a big blog entry.

Past plans might become a reality...

I have no idea what I'm gonna do...

And I feel kinda find about it....

-Phil

When the door shuts, it's like another papercut...

I've been playing this song like crazy the past couple days and it's just reminding me of my last relationship and how I'm going to forget it, and yet the more I try and forget it, I learn more about it from others, and it hurts, kinda like a paper cut.

It's odd, when Brit and I were dating, I feel like there was song in the back of my mind playing, but I couldn't put my finger on what it was. Playing this song makes it clear, it was this song.

The stress of school and this whole "paper cut" thing is just all really starting to get to me. I am freaking out, I'm stressing more than I ever have. I just feel like I'm going to fall and never get up. I have 2 papers due on Monday, and a Java project due Tuesday and part 2 on Thursday.

On May 16th, I'm doing something that night. I just want to fucking forget this whole semester. It has brought me nothing but pain.

Well, that's it for now
-Phil