Torn into too many pieces.

So this break up is so hard on me, I don't know what to do. The other night after hearing about my girlfriend cheating on me, then hearing that they weren't true, then up until a couple minutes ago, believed it, I'm going insane.

This morning, I was fine, I was actually happy since the break up. I realized that, hey, if I clean up my act, maybe I can be with her again. I thought that I had a shot. If not, well then, I still could clean up my act I guess. Then, I went on to her MySpace page, because I was indeed curious to see if I was still on her top, and yes my master plan failed, and what? What's this? I was her number two when we were dating, I knew I wouldn't be there, but wait, who's there? Chris. This dick is the guy who told me she was cheating on me. He told me, they were getting back together. He is the ass who Brittany dumped for me, then as I'm assuming, dumped me for him.

I did absolutely nothing wrong. Yeah, I complain and yeah, I can get a little depressed, but if you're going to tell me that you don't want another project because that's what you had with your ex, then what makes you think going back to him is going to make life any better.

I never cheated on her, I never hurt her, I always thought of her, I did so much for her, and what do I get? This pain. This sense of, I'll never be in a stable relationship for a long period of time? This feeling that I'm not good enough?

My Birthday is tomorrow. "Fuck my Life!" I shall be saying to myself. And indeed, fuck my fucking life into eternal fucking dam-fucking-nation.